Pressure

Sometimes I really believe that men cannot even imagine what life is for a woman. Don't get me wrong, I love being a woman. But sometimes when I talk to my fiance, and he tells me how I look beautiful as if he doesn't know WHY I am self conscious... I realize that if you're not being targeted, then you don't even realize how harmful anything is.

Even being me, the feminist college student who knows and realizes all the media programming directed to people, I cannot undo 20 years of being brainwashed and stop disliking my body just by telling myself "It's all lies and you know it."

Pressure -_-

Street Harassment

This is a very broad issue, believe it or not. I've been harassed by myself, with friends, in the presence of family, at work (I worked in the Drive-Thru at a fast food restaurant for 19 months) by an individual and by entire groups. Fortunately, it was all "mild" harassment- let's just say that the harassers didn't get to graphic.

However, I'd like to narrow my focus a bit... and talk only about man-on-child harassment. I started experiencing street harassment when I was about 14. Usually those harassing me were older men, old enough to be my dad. 

Now, this might just be me because I was a lifeguard... but I am VERY good at telling people's age. I did NOT look like I was 22, 20, or even 18 when I was 14 years old. I looked like I was FOURTEEN. A child. My face SCREAMED "kid."  As a lifeguard, I saw all kinds of kids with all types of bodies, and the trick is.. don't look at the person's body. Look at their face. Not their body. Why? Because breast size has nothing to do with age, but for some reason people think it does. Sure, puberty has something to do with age, and breast development is linked to puberty... but you can have a 30 year old woman with AA cups and a 14 year old girl with C cups. So your "I thought she was 18" argument is STUPID (not that I ever take that argument seriously anyway.) 

When in doubt, look at the person's face. It is crazy how much you can tell about a person by looking at their facial features, eyes, smile, or even ears.

Now that I have that off my chest, the reason for this post is because a facebook friend who is about 12 or 13 made an update on what she hates about being a girl. Here is part of the list:

• The Pressure From Media

• Styling Hair After Showering 

• Having a Hard Time Running Cause of Your Boobs.

• Being called a Bitch , Whore , Hoe , for No Apparent Reason.

• Having Pedophiles Hit on You.

• Shaving All The Time.

• Having to Deal With Douchebag Guys.

Immediately, I realized just how far gone this country is. Street harassment has been so normalized, and even expected, that even victims can talk about it as though it were just a shrug off the shoulder. I wrote in a comment to my friend:

Yeah, I especially agree with having pedophiles hit on you. It is something we can mention almost lightheartedly and with a laugh because it is so common, but it just proves that society breeds sexist assumptions that girls deserve to get hit on 24/7.

It turns us from individual who have feelings and who should have a say in how we are sexualized, into objects that exist only in someone's reality whose purpose is only to be sexualized.

Girls should not be able to talk casually about being targeted by pedophiles. It's like saying that it isn't a form of sexual harassment severe enough to get attention... It's like saying "the child molester wasn't being sleazy enough for society thinks it's wrong... but it is okay for a child molester to hit on you this [--] much!

Normalizing harassment is a cause of rape culture. Harassment, even in the most 'minor' sense, is a complete disregard for the autonomy, feelings and self-respect of the victim.

People who harass are not trying to compliment, that is just their excuse when their catcalls are met with disdain. No, harassment is about humiliation and degradation. It is about someone using you as the butt of a joke, or to prove they're brave. They know it makes the victim nervous and they like knowing they've scared somebody. 

I hope none of my readers ever have, or ever will be the victim of harassment of any kind- on the street, at work, among friends or acquaintances, cyber-harassment, or anything else.

What do you think?

Thoughts? Agree or disagree?

Life is sacred starting at...

I say birth. Some say conception.

It is interesting that an animal that will eventually be eaten by a human, starts out looking like a human.

I wonder if the brain is the same as that of a human's at this point, too.

Thoughts?

Breastfeeding in Public

In case you're wondering, I support NIP 100%. With a blanket, without a blanket, in a restaurant, in the store- everything goes. It is one of the most beautiful and selfless things a mother can do for her baby, if she is able.

I was thinking about how many people are opposed to NIP, and came across the quote "I don't care if you do it, just as long as it isn't around me." We hear that (or a variation of it) all the time:

I don't care if you're gay, just so long as you don't try to have sex with me.

I don't care if you're Jewish, just as long as you don't try to force your religion upon me.

Get it? It gets old. But to be honest, I've said it before. Not about nursing, religion, or homosexuality-- but about smoking. I don't care if you smoke, just as long as it isn't around me. Many states, including my own, have laws against smoking in public. The rationale is that smoking is optional. Breathing is not.

Well.. this logic can be applied to breastfeeding. Feeding your baby is not a choice. Watching women breastfeed, however, is. Just don't fucking look.

So, to get to the point, I kind of combined the two of them into this meme:

On a related note, when I was searching for a photo of a breastfeeding mother, I realized the vast, VAST majority of then were of white women. Furthermore, I read that people's attitudes about breastfeeding in public can be influenced by the race of the mother and child. Sickening.

Rape Culture

The more I think about it, the more sad I get that so many people are so "programmed." I mean, until relatively recently, I was one of the people who's default reaction to sexual assault was to blame the victim (which, now that I think of it, it almost glorifies the attacker as someone who puts the victim back in his or her place.) 

I just can't believe I ever thought rape and sexual assaults were justifiable. Unfortunately victim-blaming doesn't stop there- people are told how to avoid being robbed as well, and that "well maybe you shouldn't have left your ipod exposed in your passenger seat." 

Criminals are not some divine common-sense police making sure we stick to some stupid moral and behavioral code. If I want to wear a tube top and leave my windows down while I'm in the store, it isn't some criminals job with public opinion on their side to tell me I was wrong and hopefully I learned my lesson.

We abide by a rape-schedule, which isn't even real. This rape schedule tells us rape only happens in dark alleyways when we're dressed "immodestly" (and only when we're female) and are having a hard time finding our keys... it is dismissive of all the rapes that occur by acquaintances, sexual assaults that happen on the clock at work, in the military, and by family members. 

  

Fear is the weapon used. The attacker uses fear, the media uses fear, the public uses fear. Fear to keep the victims silent and criminals protected. Now, every person who isn't a victim or survivor so conveniently can say "I told you so. You could have prevented this if _____. Next time you won't do this and that, huh?"

  

I wish people would wake up. We literally live in a world where right is wrong, and wrong is right. Victims and potential victims aren't the ones that should have a dress code, schedule, and heavy locks on their doors. That's the CRIMINALS. Wake up!

A letter to my governor.

Regarding the anti-abortion legislation. Hope you enjoy!

The prospect of fetuses having rights is somewhat incompatible with the Fourteenth Amendment. It refers to all persons BORN in the United States having equal rights under the law. What if the person was conceived out of the United States? Would US laws apply? What if the person was conceived by an immigrant couple, in the United States? Is it an American fetus? If the 14th amendment is stretched to include all persons CONCEIVED in the United States as well, how can we prove whether a fetus was conceived on the last day of a couple's honeymoon in France, or on the first day back from the honeymoon in the USA? Similarly, if an international couple conceived a fetus on vacation in the United States, how would it be dealt with?

Seriously, think about this. I know how much republicans hate immigrants, so what about an immigrant woman who wants an abortion? Save the fetus now, and then blame it for coming from an immigrant family after it is born?

If a mother dies from pregnancy complications, is the fetus to be held liable? After all, it has inalienable human rights!

What's next, charging women who miscarry with manslaughter?

The simple fact is this is all about control. You and your "small government." I'll tell you what you can do with your small government- take it out of MY vagina and place it somewhere in your body.

And the whole "abortions cause breast cancer" bit is really... wow. What do you expect to accomplish with that? If that's required, make you tell them deodorant can cause breast cancer, too.

I'm sure you don't care about my vote, but that's okay. It is obvious you don't care about me.