Street Harassment

This is a very broad issue, believe it or not. I've been harassed by myself, with friends, in the presence of family, at work (I worked in the Drive-Thru at a fast food restaurant for 19 months) by an individual and by entire groups. Fortunately, it was all "mild" harassment- let's just say that the harassers didn't get to graphic.

However, I'd like to narrow my focus a bit... and talk only about man-on-child harassment. I started experiencing street harassment when I was about 14. Usually those harassing me were older men, old enough to be my dad. 

Now, this might just be me because I was a lifeguard... but I am VERY good at telling people's age. I did NOT look like I was 22, 20, or even 18 when I was 14 years old. I looked like I was FOURTEEN. A child. My face SCREAMED "kid."  As a lifeguard, I saw all kinds of kids with all types of bodies, and the trick is.. don't look at the person's body. Look at their face. Not their body. Why? Because breast size has nothing to do with age, but for some reason people think it does. Sure, puberty has something to do with age, and breast development is linked to puberty... but you can have a 30 year old woman with AA cups and a 14 year old girl with C cups. So your "I thought she was 18" argument is STUPID (not that I ever take that argument seriously anyway.) 

When in doubt, look at the person's face. It is crazy how much you can tell about a person by looking at their facial features, eyes, smile, or even ears.

Now that I have that off my chest, the reason for this post is because a facebook friend who is about 12 or 13 made an update on what she hates about being a girl. Here is part of the list:

• The Pressure From Media

• Styling Hair After Showering 

• Having a Hard Time Running Cause of Your Boobs.

• Being called a Bitch , Whore , Hoe , for No Apparent Reason.

• Having Pedophiles Hit on You.

• Shaving All The Time.

• Having to Deal With Douchebag Guys.

Immediately, I realized just how far gone this country is. Street harassment has been so normalized, and even expected, that even victims can talk about it as though it were just a shrug off the shoulder. I wrote in a comment to my friend:

Yeah, I especially agree with having pedophiles hit on you. It is something we can mention almost lightheartedly and with a laugh because it is so common, but it just proves that society breeds sexist assumptions that girls deserve to get hit on 24/7.

It turns us from individual who have feelings and who should have a say in how we are sexualized, into objects that exist only in someone's reality whose purpose is only to be sexualized.

Girls should not be able to talk casually about being targeted by pedophiles. It's like saying that it isn't a form of sexual harassment severe enough to get attention... It's like saying "the child molester wasn't being sleazy enough for society thinks it's wrong... but it is okay for a child molester to hit on you this [--] much!

Normalizing harassment is a cause of rape culture. Harassment, even in the most 'minor' sense, is a complete disregard for the autonomy, feelings and self-respect of the victim.

People who harass are not trying to compliment, that is just their excuse when their catcalls are met with disdain. No, harassment is about humiliation and degradation. It is about someone using you as the butt of a joke, or to prove they're brave. They know it makes the victim nervous and they like knowing they've scared somebody. 

I hope none of my readers ever have, or ever will be the victim of harassment of any kind- on the street, at work, among friends or acquaintances, cyber-harassment, or anything else.