Trying to Understand Thin Privilege.

I came across this phrase today. It is something that I have been thinking a lot about lately, mostly due to this image:

Now, before I go on, I want to clarify that I don't think any body type is wrong. I don't want anybody to think any body type is wrong. Unfortunately, though, my words do not exist in a vacuum (and if this was a sexism-free world then this wouldn't even need said.)

However... I have to say I really agree with this image. Not in the way that I'm moved by its message that we need to stop body-shaming, because I already know that. But the unnamed people saying things like "But you're SKINNY!" Because that's just it. You're SKINNY!

We live in a society where everyone's body type is constantly questioned and scrutinized. This is more of a women's issue, but men are affected too (and they have learned from the media to perpetrate these ideals just as well as many have learned to believe them). And you know what? It doesn't matter what people think of your body anyway because everyone has a preference. The preference for petite women does not equal hatred for muscular women. There is a variety for a reason- because we have preferences.

It should be noted, though, that skinny privilege does exist. Yes, it does. Honestly, when skinny people complain about how hard it is for them... it reminds me of a white person talking about reverse racism. Yeah, I'm white and I live in an urban area with people of every color. I've experienced my share of racism- but that has happened astronomically FEWER times than I have been benefited by my skin color.

When I was about 20 pounds lighter, people were nicer to me. I didn't feel like I was being stared at if I bought a candy bar. I felt as though all the clothes in my closet were fair game and that I was "allowed" to wear whatever I wanted. Now, I'm about 13 pounds overweight by BMI. I feel like people wonder why if I get an ice cream cone. I don't see people who look like me on TV, unless it is ironically (Big Rhonda, from that 70's show?) and then there is the whole public opinion that fat is bad.

I don't understand how a person who is thin can be so upset that they are thin. I know that skinny bodies have a lot of criticism geared toward them, but it just isn't as much as fat bodies- and it isn't the same type of criticism, either. To elaborate, I've never seen a single add that said "Need to gain weight for the summer?" or "Gain 15 pounds in 2 weeks!" Nope, not that I can recall. I've never seen a woman rocking love handles in an advertisement for a pair of jeans, either. Skinny bodies are everywhere- it is a skinny person's world. Fat bodies are blamed for being fat, told how to lose weight, what they should do, how to dress so maybe people won't notice that they're fat, etc etc etc.

Feeling skinny was awesome for me. To me, it equated freedom. Not being questioned why I'm riding my bike to school or why I'm only ordering a water with dinner. Working out as a fat girl was hard- it was embarrassing and I felt unwelcome. After I lost a few pounds, I felt like I belonged in the gym. I've lived both lives, and honestly, I can't think of a single reason to hate a skinny body. Bony? People like that. Cute and small? Tall and thin? I've never heard of those being bad words. Unhealthy? Fat bodies get the unhealthy spiel too, not that it matters though. The only people who know about your health are you and your doctor.

Point is, every "insult" that can be thrown at a skinny body either can also be taken as a compliment, or is something that fat bodies hear all the time, too. For every skinny "insult" there's about five going around for fat bodies.

Do not take this to mean that it is okay to insult anybody no matter what they look like. I don't think that's okay. I think all bodies are inherently beautiful for many different reasons. But maybe it is time that we start noticing thin privilege.

On one hand, though, I hate the further polarization of body times. By using the phrase "thin privilege" we create a binary. I don't want things to be fat versus thin, or anything versus anything. To start body loving for everybody we need to just stop classifying them. Thin/athletic/overweight/fat/chubby/petite/average/muscular/curvy.... We just don't need that. People will still have body preferences, but we don't need to make a deal out of body types. There's a bunch of them, let's just leave it at that.

The Obsession

It is obvious- we live in a society obsessed with sex. The entertainment industry uses the whole "sex sells" as a lame excuse to objectify women (even though that is stupid logic because at best only 50% of the population is attracted to women) and there isn't a day that you don't hear about a state trying to restrict same sex marriage laws or reproductive choices.

Some people are more obsessed with sex than others, though. I've met a few of them. You now- people who are so concerned with same-sex couples and their civil and human rights that they spend hours of their day trying to make sure they don't get those rights. It blows my mind that they can get so heated over someone's consenting, PRIVATE sexual relationship.

It is my opinion, if you're going to get angry about sex, let it be over all the rapists who are enabled due to rape culture. Start petitions and make signs about the objectification of women in the media. Ask store CEO's why they don't sell clothing that doesn't sexualize girls. Get mad about every rapist who walks free. Stand up against the rape apologists who want women to be hidden. Be furious that we are taught to prevent our own rape- as though it is someone we need to plan for and are therefore responsible for if it happens.

Don't get mad that your neighbor/coworker/people you don't even know or care about is sexually attracted to the same sex. Don't worry, it's not like they're in love with you and are just waiting to get you alone. Plus, gay people know it is a waste of time to flirt with straight people. So your homophobic excuses are stupid, and you need to channel your gay-sex anger toward something that is a PROBLEM. Like that once every 2 minutes, an individual is sexually assaulted or raped. That means they are taken advantage of (unlike consenting, homosexual sex acts) and often, traumatized from the brutal experience. This statistic is representative of individuals 12 and older- although it should be noted that the rape of children younger than 12 happens.

The societal problems that arise due to patriarchy just kick victims while they're down. Society is geared toward blaming the victim (by pointing out how the rape could have been prevented) and by making excuses for the rapist- reasons why his or her behavior is expected, justifiable, or appropriate due to the circumstances. This should ENRAGE you. It should enrage you that rapists have admitted to choosing only victims who have been drinking because they know they will get away with it. Forget about all those happy gay couples- use your time and energy to make the streets safer.

Namaste beauties =]

Success!

I have to admit, I haven't given you all a real update in a long time. I have a reason, though. Things don't always go as planned, and as I have learned, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I've thought about doing a blog entry about what's been going on the past few months, but I think I just want to put it all behind me. I will start this blog, though, with the first good thing that happened to me!

I checked my student account and saw that I get enough financial aid this summer to pay for all my classes! I was so afraid I would have to take a summer off (I just can't imagine not being in school) and I used up all my financial aid this year... so I was so happy! I even have enough money left over now to get a new-used car (we haven't had a reliable vehicle in a few months.) So, I was double happy!

Later on, I saw on Facebook that a friend got a 4.0. I checked my grades earlier that day and my last grade hadn't been posted yet... but I considered that maybe the site is only updated at the end of the business day. I checked around 6:00 pm and saw this:

Ahhh! Hell yeah! Due to the whole not-having-a-car thing, this 4.0 was VERY well-earned... and not just by me. My sister, dad, his girlfriend, cousin, best friend's dad, and boyfriend all have taken me to school or picked me up so I won't get dropped for non-attendance. I can't thank my family enough for believing in me. I really couldn't have done this without them, really. I just can't express enough gratitude for every person who took time out of their day to drive me 30 minutes away, or to pick me up to go home. I couldn't have done it without you.

Finally, I found out yesterday that I won a pair of Consent Panties off the Vitamin W Facebook page contest! The contest was to write on their Facebook what consent means to you, and a pair of free panties would go to the most intriguing, powerful responses. I entered because I love being given a chance to speak my mind, and because I have a weird thing for panties. I just can't have enough underwear. Anyway, you can imagine my delight when I saw this:

Education, a car, a 4.0, a loving family, and free panties! What more could a feminist ask for?

Sexualization of Girls

I just really need to ramble right now. This isn't going to be my best blog...But I have good news! Finals are over, no more homework (until June 4, :p) I hope to make a few more updates!!

Our society sexualizes girls. The default for boys' clothes is is looser-fitting jeans, t-shirts that cover the shoulders, and shorts that cover the knees. The default for girls is low-cut shirts, tighter fit, short shorts, and tight jeans.

This normalizes girls' clothing as something that shows the body off from a very early age. Their default is is to show their shoulders and their legs. What are you going to choose on a hot day? Boys have the option to pick loose-fitting shorts. Girls can either pick tight knee-length shorts (uncomfortable) or short-shorts. It just isn't fair.

This really reminds me of  my blog on sexual harassment. The dress available to women and girls is often use as a "pass" to degrade them by hypersexualizing them anonymously on the streets. This is an institutional problem. Certain clothes are marketed to toward girls from a young age, then choosing to wear spaghetti straps when they are older turns into the equivalent of girls and women asking for attention, rape, and harassment.

I want to be a role model for girls when I become a teacher. I want so badly for them to know that society is set up unfairly so they can prepare for it and make things right. If girls knew they were being sexualized, I can guarantee they would fight it.

My body is not gross

It is ridiculous that society tells me things my body does is gross. Okay, menstruation is one thing, but breastfeeding? Something our bodies are designed to do to ensure the species continues? It just blows my mind.

Why are tattoo models so often thin women and muscular men? I don't understand how a form of art that completely challenges conventional standards of beauty has its own form of beauty hierarchy.

Tattoos embrace a culture society doesn't view as attractive, while sill supporting society's views of beauty.

Where are all the fat tattoo mdoels?! #meat lover

Food

I realized last night how obsessed I am with food. I suspect that my fiance does not think about food as much as I do. Just for instance, last night I was stressed out about who was going to finish their food first. I never want to finish first- I feel like it makes it seems as though I'm a pig. I remember thinking "I hope he gets seconds before I finish my plate so that I know I am the one that ate the least." What the fuck kind of thing is that to think? It is important for me to eat healthily, but I need to stop treating myself as if food is some sort of test. I need to tell myself NOBODY THINKS ABOUT FOOD as hard as I do.

I wonder what it would be like, to be male, and never be told you're not pretty enough. Just last night, I was reading statistics about xx% of girls think they're ugly, and xx% of girls think they're fat. I wish I could be a role model, but unfortunately I'm a statistic.

With all this free space in their thoughts, not worrying about food or weight or under the eye circles.... what do guys think about?!

I could get so much more done if I didn't always preoccupy myself with bullshit brainwashy propoganda.