Food

I realized last night how obsessed I am with food. I suspect that my fiance does not think about food as much as I do. Just for instance, last night I was stressed out about who was going to finish their food first. I never want to finish first- I feel like it makes it seems as though I'm a pig. I remember thinking "I hope he gets seconds before I finish my plate so that I know I am the one that ate the least." What the fuck kind of thing is that to think? It is important for me to eat healthily, but I need to stop treating myself as if food is some sort of test. I need to tell myself NOBODY THINKS ABOUT FOOD as hard as I do.

I wonder what it would be like, to be male, and never be told you're not pretty enough. Just last night, I was reading statistics about xx% of girls think they're ugly, and xx% of girls think they're fat. I wish I could be a role model, but unfortunately I'm a statistic.

With all this free space in their thoughts, not worrying about food or weight or under the eye circles.... what do guys think about?!

I could get so much more done if I didn't always preoccupy myself with bullshit brainwashy propoganda.