Rape Culture

The more I think about it, the more sad I get that so many people are so "programmed." I mean, until relatively recently, I was one of the people who's default reaction to sexual assault was to blame the victim (which, now that I think of it, it almost glorifies the attacker as someone who puts the victim back in his or her place.) 

I just can't believe I ever thought rape and sexual assaults were justifiable. Unfortunately victim-blaming doesn't stop there- people are told how to avoid being robbed as well, and that "well maybe you shouldn't have left your ipod exposed in your passenger seat." 

Criminals are not some divine common-sense police making sure we stick to some stupid moral and behavioral code. If I want to wear a tube top and leave my windows down while I'm in the store, it isn't some criminals job with public opinion on their side to tell me I was wrong and hopefully I learned my lesson.

We abide by a rape-schedule, which isn't even real. This rape schedule tells us rape only happens in dark alleyways when we're dressed "immodestly" (and only when we're female) and are having a hard time finding our keys... it is dismissive of all the rapes that occur by acquaintances, sexual assaults that happen on the clock at work, in the military, and by family members. 

  

Fear is the weapon used. The attacker uses fear, the media uses fear, the public uses fear. Fear to keep the victims silent and criminals protected. Now, every person who isn't a victim or survivor so conveniently can say "I told you so. You could have prevented this if _____. Next time you won't do this and that, huh?"

  

I wish people would wake up. We literally live in a world where right is wrong, and wrong is right. Victims and potential victims aren't the ones that should have a dress code, schedule, and heavy locks on their doors. That's the CRIMINALS. Wake up!

A letter to my governor.

Regarding the anti-abortion legislation. Hope you enjoy!

The prospect of fetuses having rights is somewhat incompatible with the Fourteenth Amendment. It refers to all persons BORN in the United States having equal rights under the law. What if the person was conceived out of the United States? Would US laws apply? What if the person was conceived by an immigrant couple, in the United States? Is it an American fetus? If the 14th amendment is stretched to include all persons CONCEIVED in the United States as well, how can we prove whether a fetus was conceived on the last day of a couple's honeymoon in France, or on the first day back from the honeymoon in the USA? Similarly, if an international couple conceived a fetus on vacation in the United States, how would it be dealt with?

Seriously, think about this. I know how much republicans hate immigrants, so what about an immigrant woman who wants an abortion? Save the fetus now, and then blame it for coming from an immigrant family after it is born?

If a mother dies from pregnancy complications, is the fetus to be held liable? After all, it has inalienable human rights!

What's next, charging women who miscarry with manslaughter?

The simple fact is this is all about control. You and your "small government." I'll tell you what you can do with your small government- take it out of MY vagina and place it somewhere in your body.

And the whole "abortions cause breast cancer" bit is really... wow. What do you expect to accomplish with that? If that's required, make you tell them deodorant can cause breast cancer, too.

I'm sure you don't care about my vote, but that's okay. It is obvious you don't care about me.

For those pro-lifers

Something I just thought of- pretty controversial, but here goes:

People who oppose abortion in the case of rape always use the reason "it's no the child's fault" (tried to put 'child' in quotations but the apostrophe made it look weird.)

Okay, so what about in the case of a man leaving his family when he finds out his wife had an affair and the infant isn't his? It's not the child's fault!

Yes, I know cheating is serious-- but hey, isn't rape serious, too?

That being said, I can only imagine the feelings a man must feel when he is betrayed by his partner, and I can agree with why he would not want to raise her baby. So, how come a woman cannot do the same thing when her body is betrayed?

(I'm not in anyway condoning cheating, just trying to see if I can make a point to the "it isn't the child's fault" argument.)

I love my vagina!

Haha! I had no clue how to start this post, but I have to tell SOMEBODY!

Lately I've been getting really into feminism, and part of that is understanding my reproductive health. Now, I've always been anti FDA and usually only take midol when I *need* to. I also take antibiotics when necessary but other than that, I try to go all-natural.

A few weeks ago I had a yeast infection. It was the third I had gotten in my life. The first one, when I was 18, I just used cream. The second one, I stopped having sex for a while and I guess it eventually went away. Well, this one was SUPER uncomfortable. I don't know how many of my lady friends have had one, but they just are a bummer.

I learned some things about them and found out they yeast thrives on sugar, multiplies in water, is killed by garlic, and can be fought with acidophilus, a bacteria found in plain yogurt.

This might sound weird, but as I am not a vagina expert my first thought was to douche. I'd never douched before, mainly because I never felt the need to. However, all the sources I read online told me NOT to douche because yeast multiplies in water. Instead, I did something a lot more fun- I made a yogurt popsicle!

Take a tampon applicator and put some plain, unsweetened yogurt in it. Not greek yogurt- regular, plain, yogurt. Freeze it! During the day, just pop the yogurt popsicle in your vag, put on a pantiliner, and allow the cold acidophilus smoothie to soothe your vagina! It was a GREAT relief from the itching that I had been experiencing.

To treat the yeast infection overnight, I took a clean clove of garlic (peel it ALL THE WAY) and poked a hole in it with a toothpick. I took some thread and put it through the hole and tied it, leaving a length of about six inches. Then, I popped it in my hoo-hah! The string was so I could pull it out easily. Don't worry about TSS- TSS is associated with tampon absorbency. Garlic isn't absorbent.

If you bake, you might have known that garlic kills yeast. Putting the garlic where the sun doesn't shine can get rid of the worst symptoms overnight-- in fact, it started working for me in just a few minutes. The awesome part was that I woke up the next morning without the nasty morning-breath taste in my mouth. Everything tasted like garlic! But not strongly of garlic, just enough to make me crave spaghetti.

The reason I don't recommend doing the garlic during the day is because apparently, other people can detect the odor.

Another thing to do, while you're stocked up on garlic and yogurt, is to make chip dip. I minced up a clove of garlic or two, added some minced onion, and stirred it in the about a cup of plain yogurt. It tasted like ranch, and my fiance loved it, too!
Anyway, repeat these two things until the day after symptoms are gone, and you'll have  a happy vagina!

Oh, an AWESOME thing about the garlic is that the next day, I had some of the most healthy looking discharge I'd seen. My vagina was working hard to get its environment back to normal, and it made me feel proud I did it without the use of any over-the-counter meds.

Why I Am Pro-Choice

I used to be quite radically pro-life. I believed that abortion was wrong and it should be avoided at all costs. I was also Christian, and I suppose "god's purpose" and the sanctity of life had something to do with it...

However, now I am a very proud pro-choice woman. No, that does not mean I believe every woman should have an abortion. It means I believe that a woman should be able to make the informed decision herself. It took too long for me to stop being so bigoted toward women. I'm not sure when it all started, but I would like to explain why my mind changed.

Perhaps the most salient fact in the anti-choice world is that life begins at conception. I cannot agree with this belief. I took a course called World Religions in the summer of 2012 and the professor mentioned near death experiences and pre-birth experiences. I was very interested in the latter, and I began reading. The stories that I found, memories that people who are living on Earth with us this very moment shared, astounded me. Some of them explain being apprehensive about being born, about choosing their family, "zooming in and out" of their body in their mother's womb, watching their birth, and being incarnated while their human body was being delivered.

Life on Earth does not begin at conception. Our bodies are not our permanent homes. They are a temporary home for our immortal spirit. While our body is in our birth mother's womb, it isn't ready for us. We are not obligated to stay in it during our birth mother's pregnancy when the real adventure is on Earth. Our life does not begin as an embryo or fetus. Life begins when we begin living-- outside the womb, experiencing life.

This realization was what snapped me out of my pro-life delusion.

After I realized life does not begin at conception, I began to reconsider the other reasons I spouted out when I used to tell people why I am pro-life. One reason was that "there is always adoption." Ohh man, was I wrong.

We all know that in order to put a children up for adoption, it must be carried to term and delivered. Therefore, a woman must be pregnant for a lengthy amount of time. Pregnancy entails a lot more than simply being pregnant. Some women become diabetic while pregnant, must remain on lengthy bed rest, there is morning sickness, constipation, and the fact that your stomach is growing to accommodate for the little body that is growing inside of you.

Aside from the physical inconveniences that arise from being pregnant, there are a lot of social inconveniences as well. How could a woman face work, the grocery store, or school every day with her growing belly and being bombarded by questions like "When are you due? Do you want a boy or girl? Have you chosen a name?" and having to explain to each nosy asker that she will not be keeping the child, but rather giving it up for adoption.

And while the woman is being forced by the government to carry the pregnancy, she will have to pay for the mandatory hospital visits, the fees associated with delivering a child, and it is highly doubtful that she will be compensated for any lost work hours spent in the hospital.

No, there isn't "always adoption."

In short, I am pro-choice because life doesn't begin in the womb. Our bodies are being readied for our arrival... but we are not in them. And adoption is not always an acceptable solution because of the way society treats pregnant women.

Further reading:
http://www.beyondreligion.com/su_personal/pbe-index.htm
http://www.prebirthexperience.com//prebirth_memories.htm

Spanish Assignment: An Event

Uno de los eventos más importante en mi vida es cuando mi primita choqueó. El 16 de marzo, 2011, visitaba la casa de mi padre y mi prima (ella se llama Mary) de 2 años era allí. Traje una bolsa de dulces duros para mi padre y hermano, and Mary me pidió si pudiera tener un dulce. Lisa, la tía de Mary y la novia de mi padre me dijo que ella pudo tener un dulce. Le di un dulce a Mary. ¡Que estúpida yo era!

A la edad de 2 años, Mary estaba aprendiendo usar el baño. Fui a usar el baño y Mary me siguió porque ella quería usar el baño también. Yo lavaba las manos mientras Mary se quitaba sus pantalones. Ella me decía “¡Voy a usar el baño! ¡Uso el baño!” cuándo lo pasó… Ella empezó a chocar por el dulce.

¿Conoces cuándo una cosa increíble está pasando y pienses en un billón cosas en el mismo tiempo? ¿Y todos los pensamientos son completos, ratiónales, e inteligentes, pero pasa solamente 2 o 3 segundos? Lo es que me pasó cuando Mary empezó a chocar.

El verano antes de este evento, trabajé en una piscina. Por eso, aprendí CPR, el Heimlich, y pude reconocer muchas emergencias, incluyendo cuando una persona está chocando. He aprendido que hace una persona cuando está chocando, que enséñales necesitas buscar, y muchos hechos. Teoréticamente, yo era muy preparada por un emergencia como una persona que está chocando… pero viendo la emergencia es muy diferente en total… A Mary le dio cuente de que no pudo respirar, y de repente los ojos se hicieron grandes y llenos de agua. La cara era roja, y ella me miró como tratara decir ayúdame. Recordé las etapas de ayudar una persona que está chocando… Primero, pregunte ¿está usted chocando? ¡Es obvio que Mary está chocando! Próximo… pregunte si puedes ayudar a la persona. ¡Dios mio esto es ridículo! Bien… ahora, llame por ayuda. ¡No es bastante tiempo! Dios mio, ¿que hago ahora? Empecé al Heimlich para los bebes. No… no funcionará, ella es más grande que un bebé. Pero, es más pequeña que una joven… ¿Qué hago? Pensé en todas de estas cosas y observé todas de estas cosas en solamente 2 o 3 segundos…

Finalmente, le puse a ella en el estómago encima de la ducha y le golpeé tan fuerte que pudiera en la espalda sin lastimándole. Después de dos o tres veces, cayó de la boca el dulce. Con Mary en los brazos, corrí tan rápido que pudiera afuera y grité “¡Llames 911!” Aunque ella ya no estaba chocando y ella respiraba bien, no estuve de seguro que ella era bien. En cambio, ella era perfectamente… con la excepción de que usó el baño en sus pantalones cuando yo le golpeé.

Ahora, todavía yo tengo sueños malos con la memoria de su cara, llena de terror, y de los ojos, gritando ayúdame… por favor…

Death Penalty

Answering this question is quite tricky. It reminds me of a paper I wrote for my Comp 1 class considering the voting rights for felons, in which case I remained adamant that felons do not deserve the right to vote. My reasoning was that felons did not show regard for the rights of the person or establishment they violated, therefore their rights could be appropriately disregarded.

Life, however, is entirely different.

Many points of views on the death penalty come from an economic perspective. I've heard the "I don't want MY tax dollars to give the felon free housing and meals!" Others point out that the cost of putting a person to death is much more than keeping him or her alive. Evidence on that is shaky.

I have a hard time putting a price on human life.

Coming at this question from an ethical point of view causes one ponder not questions of money, but questions of value.

Does a person surrender his or her humanity by committing a capital offense? Well, some would say one who commits a crime worthy of death had no humanity in the first place. Plus, taking a criminal's life would be "good" for society.

What about all the people who didn't commit the crime they were charged with? True, yes. Heart-wrenching, yes. Our judicial system would rather let a guilty man go free than to accidentally charge one innocent man. Nevertheless, this happens. Nobody wants to kill a person who does not "deserve" it. Except, maybe, a murderer.

And, finally:

Does a person "choose" his or her punishment by choosing to commit a crime in the first place? This is the question that makes the choice easy for me. A person, in fact, DOES choose their punishment, in my opinion. That is why it is easy for a person who has served 10 years of their "life without parole" sentence to go and attack a guard, in hopes of getting the death penalty and not having to live 30 more years in prison.

Because the death penalty could become an "easy way out" for people serving life sentences, I am against the death penalty. In my eyes, the death penalty is a "get out of jail free" card.

Words: 373

This blog post is an official entry for the Law Blogger’s Scholarship, sponsored by The Law Office of Joshua Pond, http://www.joshuapondlaw.com.